The Bridesmaids!

Yesterday marked the 4th week we've been engaged, and today I can announce the official bridal party...well my half that is.  When we first started talking about our wedding plans, I already had a pretty good idea of who I wanted in my party, but of course before people could be chosen we had to discuss things like how big our wedding was going to be.  We settled on six each, which I think will be the perfect number for me, sizable, but not too big.


Each of the girls I chose has played an important role at different stages during my life.  They are all very special to me, and have been so welcoming to Arthur and supportive of our relationship.  I am very happy they will be standing with us on our big day.


So the McGowan/Andersen bridesmaids are Amanda, Sarah, Lauren, Maria, Tina, & Etienne!  Once I had decided on my bridal party I wanted to be able to ask each of them in a special way.  Armed with chocolates and a card, I attempted to see each of them in person, or at least deliver the sweets to them myself.  (Etienne, I owe you chocolates!)  It took a few weeks, but everyone has now been asked (and accepted!) so the bridal is complete!


The girls:


Amanda is my cousin, and as I do not have a sister I felt very strongly about including her representing family in my wedding party.  Amanda is a few months older than me, so has in essence, known me my entire life.  We shared countless memories growing up (I still know your parents phone number by heart, I called it so many times in junior high!), and I'm so excited to be able to spend more time with her while planning the wedding.


Sarah is my oldest friend and maid of honor.  Sarah & I officially met when I invited her to my 8th birthday, although we probably had met earlier, as our brothers went to preschool together.  Sarah & Mike came on several family vacations, our moms call each other sistah, and I truly consider Sarah my sister from my second mother.  Even though I told you long ago that I wouldn't subject you to being maid of honor because of your dislike of all things girly & wedding, I have since decided those sentiments were just to get under your mom's skin.  I'm so thrilled to have you as my maid of honor.


Lauren & Maria.  I don't remember exactly when we met, but I know it was at church, and I'm guessing somewhere around age 10.  Most of my memories with each of you include the other, probably because you two are so close.  So many of my "firsts" growing up include the both of you, from the first time I stayed up ALL night (Maria's birthday sleepover), to my first car accident (poor deer), to sneaking our first sips of rum (sorry again, Mom), you guys have been there.  I can't imagine getting married for the first time without you there! (jk Arthur, ONLY time)

Tina is one of the first really good friends I met at Bentley.  We shared a class first semester of freshman year and have remained friends since.  We took many of the same classes throughout Bentley, and most of our study sessions were spent with a good portion catching up and analyzing each other lives.  Tina has impeccable taste in music, and introduced me to one of the artists I'm considering a first dance song. She is also probably one of the sweetest people I've ever known, and I'm so pleased she will be there to help analyze wedding details.


Last, but not least, is Etienne.  Etienne went to law school with Arthur and is one of his closest friends.  I've always liked the idea of mixing up the bridal parties a bit, and as Etienne has known Arthur longer than I have, she represents a new stage of my life, my life with Arthur.  Plus is Etienne super friendly and nice and absolutely impossible not to like!  Congrats again on your beautiful wedding, and I can't wait to chat more when you get back from your honeymoon!


Thank you all in advance! I'm so happy to share this experience with each one of you.

Engagement Party Invites

Most of the invites went out today! Can't wait to see everyone on June 19.

The Wentworth

Today we visited the Wentworth by the Sea Hotel & Resort and loved it! The grounds were gorgeous, the ocean views picture perfect, and grand ballroom exactly what we were envisioning.  They have an area with outside access for our cocktail hour, which was very important to us, and we liked the mix of indoor and outdoor space.  The wedding coordinator was great, really informative and assuring.  The attention to detail was very impressive.  We still have some other logistics to work out (such as finding our church), but they are holding Saturday, June 4, 2011 for us!  Can't wait to see if everything works out.  Here are a few more pictures.

Some outside views

The Grand Ballroom

Front of Hotel & Historic Gardens

Marina

Date Night

Last night we took a break from the wedding planning for a double date with Sarah & Chris.  Sarah and I had been chatting  a few months ago about finding a time for them to visit, and I had heard about this place, Create a Cook, that did couples cooking classes.  We signed up for A Night in Venice and had a fabulous time!  We made a Risotto with peas, Wilted spinach and Swiss chard salad, oven roasted quail with sausage stuffing, and Tirami sù. 

Hand stuffed quail

Sarah & Chris in action

Arthur finishing our Tirami sù

Our teacher, Moe

Finished products!

A Shout-Out to The Bride

I just wanted to give The Bride my never-ending thanks for all the research she's done so far. Although we're not all that far along yet, I can assure everyone that without all her efforts we would be nowhere close to where we are today.

Thanks, Sweetheart.

Venues, Venues, Venues

The venue.  Finding the one seems almost as elusive as finding 'the one'.  Lots of really nice places out there, but nothing we've found yet seems to have that je ne sais quoi.  We've cast a wide net, both in location and date, so the possibilities seem endless, but its definitely an information overload.  Ideally the venue would be seaside (see The Harbor View Hotel above, my inspiration place), anywhere from Maine to Massachusetts, with both indoor and outdoor facilities, and have easy access for guest lodging.  I like the idea of celebrating in a place the guests could also stay, but don't like the idea of a hotel ballroom, unless it was a really charming ballroom.  Definitely would need windows, hopefully overlooking the ocean.  Or could be something on a lake.  Or a vineyard.   

On Saturday we toured 2 venues: Searles Castle and Zorvino Vineyards. 
There were a lot of positives to Searles.  Pictures would be awesome, grounds are perfect (dinner in a tent, cocktail hour in the courtyard & first floor of castle), beautiful bridal suite, impressive event coordinator, plenty of parking, etc.  Biggest drawback is guest lodging.  Windham doesn't seem to have anything, closest town in Salem, NH which is really limited and neither town were particularly charming.  So Searles is in the running, just not love at first sight.

Zorvinos unfortunately is out.  I love the idea of a reception in a wine vineyard.  Sadly the vines here looked more like a big garden, which is not exactly the Napa style I was hoping for.  The grounds have some nice elements, but everything seemed a bit staged to me (especially the heart shaped pond).  While the grounds would probably be a nice picture background, there isn't a patio or deck for guest to enjoy them, and I'd really like an outdoor cocktail hour.  Tasty wine though!   Definitely would recommend the complimentary tastings.

So the search continues. 

I've done a lot of research this week and have been asking everyone for ideas and recommendations.  Several more promising options have surfaced, particularly Wentworth By The Sea and The Exeter Inn.  Both are historic hotels/inns, which I love, you get the charm and the ability for guests to stay!  The Wentworth is in Portsmouth and The Exeter is in, well Exeter, which are so classic New England.  I'm particularly excited to see The Wentworth and have an appointment on Sunday.  I love that it is a restored hotel with so much history (Teddy Roosevelt stayed there and hosted peace talks between Japan & Russia!), it's on the ocean, has tons of amenities (hello spa...and golf for the boys), can have the cocktail hour outside, and dinner in the original ballroom from 1870's.  Portsmouth would be as central a location as you can get when you guests coming from ME, MA, NH, RI, NY, and for everyone flying in Boston, Portland, or Manchester are all convenient.  As the venue search has evolved over the last couple of weeks I've realized that my guests' comfort is really important to me.  (probably why interest in Martha's Vineyard has been fading...it's a lot of work to get to!).  I've never thought of New Hampshire as the place I'd get married, but I'm really getting a good feeling!

The Groom's backstory

It seemed like it was about time for an entry post for "The Groom"... best place to start is probably the part of the story the future Mrs. didn't know.

I won't try to write down the reasons I decided to propose because those are a bit too personal for a public blog, but I will say when - New Year's. A lot of people become engaged around New Year's, probably because there's a lot of excitement around with the end of one year and the beginning of the next - the metaphor to one's life story at engagement is pretty clear. For me, its always been a point in the year where I like to size up where I've been, where I want to be, etc. I looked back at 2009 and watched our relationship play back and forth in my head and thought about what I wanted over the next year. I realized then that whenever I thought about my future she was in it.

Nevertheless, I've always told myself that I would never make such a big decision without being at least a year into a relationship and I told myself that I would keep to that. Not yet knowing when, I began passing subtle hints and testing the waters (I also believe that one should never pop the question without knowing what the answer would be, so I had to figure that out too.) We went "window-shopping" at Tiffany's in NYC over New Year's to get a sense of her style. (For Christmas I had bought her a small "I love you" ring from Tiffany's - while my decision was not made at that time, the thoughts were there and I figured that it was never too early to start gaining intelligence about ring sizes, etc. Buying that ring not only gave her a great present but also taught me all about her finger sizes - information I filed away for future reference.)

I knew this would get her all excited (and suspicious), so I let her talk - the whole ride home from NYC she read the Tiffany's book and educated herself and me about all things diamond. I intentionally let any excitement/suspicion fade into the woodwork for a while. Life continued - I closed on the condo, she helped me pick out furniture, paint, etc. Her birthday came and passed. So did Valentine's Day, as well as numerous "date nights" that could have been interpreted as opportunities.

Sometime in February, we decided to book our Caribbean cruise. As soon as we did, I began thinking about that as the intended timeframe. I did whatever I could to not tip her off on that, however, so I let everything sit for a few more weeks. In March, I decided that I would have to get cracking if it were going to actually happen in late April. As March/April is the beak of busy season at work for the future Mrs., I figured that I'd be able to find some time over the weekends to do some ring research without tipping her off; what I didn't plan on was being just as busy myself ever since January, so I lost my weekend time as well.

Finally in March she had to go into the office when I didn't, so I decided to grab the opporunity. I took a drive out to Tiffany's in Chestnut Hill (not realizing at the time that EVERYTHING would be as overly expensive as what we saw in NYC). About 5 minutes from the mall, I get a call from the furture Mrs. saying "I got out early - where are you?" I had to think fast - I had talked about needing ramps in order to work on my car, so I said I was almost to the auto parts store so I couldnt turn around but would go see her after that. It seemed like she bought it, but I knew I would have to keep my trip limited so she didn't get suspicious, especially when I didnt buy anything (I later learned that she DID get suspicious, so it was lucky I did this far enough in advance).

Having decided the little blue box was out of the question, I threw out the whole "what kinds of rings do you like" question and got her buzzing about it again. She didn't seem to recognize my questions as being more directed towards an actual purchase this time, but just in case I wanted to do it far enough in advance so that "buzz" would fade well in advance of April 23 (our vacation start date). I think it worked - we didn't say anything more about it after that point, and I think the "buzz" once again retreated.

For a couple weeks, I used my "spare" time looking at the styles she said she liked and hunting for the perfect ring. Eventually I found it, put it on order, and moved onto the next step....

Asking her dad. She had made it very clear that there would be no engagement until 1) I got a ring and 2) I asked her dad. With step 1 done, step 2 presented difficulty because not only do her parents live an hour away, but her dad was working up by Dartmouth ever week except the weekends - clearly an evening drive was out of the question and with my busy schedule leaving early enough from work to get up there was not feasible. This left the weekends (which were becoming precious few by this time), but those had their own issue because we were both working so much. Then it hit me - Easter weekend. Rather than her going up herself on Saturday, I figured why not drive up together for dinner on Saturday, then drive back to my parents in Sudbury after that? So that became the plan. Problem was that the future Mrs. got stuck at the office until late, so dinner got pretty squeezed - my hope was to get up there early enough such that she and her mom would, at some point, take off upstairs or somewhere such that I would have a few minutes to accomplish my task without her knowing. Well, the clock kept ticking and it was about 11pm and everyone was getting tired. Fearing my window was closing, I got lucky - the dogs needed a walk! Her dad went downstairs to walk them - saying something about how I wanted to see the dogs (I'm not sure what I said, really - I was kinda nervous), I followed. Once her dad brought the dogs back inside, I said what I came to say (again, not exactly sure what I said, but I did get the message across). We went back upstairs and I made up some silly story about watching the dogs chase the flashlight in the back yard to try to evade suspicion as to why I went downstairs. Hoping she wasn't suspicious, I left the future Mrs. and her parents and took off to Sudbury.

All sat quiet for the next few weeks. The ring arrived, insurance was purchased (no Type A lawyer is going to bring an engagement ring through airports and on a cruise without insurance), and we psyched ourselves up for the cruise. While the ring was delivered to my office, I didn't want to leave it there - so it stayed in its nondescript brown shipping box next to all my camera equipment in the office for about 2-3 weeks. Luckily, she never asked me where the brown box came from or what it was...

Now, where to pack an engagement ring when you 1) are traveling with the future recipient, 2) have to go through airport security, and 3) don't carry a man-purse. Solution? SLR camera bag. Not only would it be with me at all times, but the future Mrs. never touches that stuff unless I ask her to. Obviously it was a risk (telling her to leave it alone would have raised suspicion), but it was the best I could do. I packed it under a bunch of other equipment in my bag and off we went.

We made it to the ship with my secret still intact. However, I had heard stories of people getting stuff swiped from cruise ship cabins during fire drills, etc. so I needed to figure out how to hide it. Fortunately, there was a safe. Since I couldnt ditch a ring box in the safe, I put it in a plastic case for one of my filters - fortunately she didn't ask why I cared enough about a piece of plastic to put it in the safe!

The last step was figuring out when, where and how to ask the all-important question. I had googled for some cruise ship proposal ideas before leaving and had decided 1) a "formal" night would be a good opportunity because we'd be dressed up all nice and the ship would have professional photographers all over to take pictures (when else do you get professional photos on engagement day?) and 2) earlier in the cruise was better than later so that she could enjoy being the almost Mrs. Andersen (and so I wouldnt have to worry about her finding the ring). I contemplated a public proposal, but decided that wasn't us, especially since we didn't know anyone on the ship. I tried to get out steward to sneak in a bottle of champagne, but that raised logistical problems with arranging room service. After running through it in my head about 20 times, the plan solidified itself. The green dress, the curly hair, "I've Got a Feeling", sunset, balcony, wine, etc. - it just seemed so us.

And the rest is history.